A mother recently asked me about school readiness. She had been speaking to another parent of a three-year-old, and both of their children attended daycare—one in a private daycare and the other in a large daycare center. The question she asked was: What does a child need to be able to do to be ready for four-year-old kindy?

Before sharing my perspective, shaped by nearly 40 years of teaching experience, I asked why she was concerned. It turned out that the daycare center had informed parents they were actively “preparing” their children for school. They even planned regular meetings with parents to discuss each child’s progress toward school readiness. This mother was now feeling pressured, worried that her private daycare was not offering the same level of preparation. She wanted to know what her child should be able to do to ensure he was ready.

I was deeply concerned. Parents of three-year-olds should not feel pressured to make sure their child is “ready for school.” Of course, there are ways parents can support their child’s development, but at three years old, children should simply be allowed to be three.

That said, I wanted to reassure this mother and ease her concerns. Here is my response, based on my experience, knowledge of education, and the insights of many early years teachers:

What Should a Four-Year-Old Be Learning?

The idea that children must be “school ready” at four is unrealistic and unnecessary. A child goes to school to learn, and those learning experiences will evolve over time. It should also be noted that at this stage in Western Australia, kindy is not a compulsory year.

At four, learning should not be focused solely on academics. Instead, children should be developing essential life skills that will help them grow, such as:

• Following directions
• Interacting with other children
• Coping when things don’t go their way
• Sitting with friends and having a conversation
• Listening to a teacher and peers
• Asking for help when needed
• Taking turns and sharing
• Managing emotions and self-regulating

These skills lay the foundation for future learning. Of course, some children may show early academic readiness, but any introduction to reading, writing, or numeracy should be play-based. Learning takes many forms, and play is one of the most powerful.

How Can Parents Help Their Child Get Ready for Kindy?

Forget about the academics. Instead, focus on independence and practical skills that will make the transition smoother for both your child and their teacher. A child attending kindy should:

✅ Be toilet trained (unless there is a medical reason otherwise). Schools are not responsible for toilet training, though accidents will happen.
✅ Be able to open and close their own lunchbox.
✅ Be able to put things away when asked.
✅ Be able to ask for help.
✅ Be able to follow simple instructions.

If a child can do these things, they will feel more confident and capable, making it easier to learn new things.

Let’s Stop Rushing Childhood

It frustrates me when we push children to prepare for the next stage instead of allowing them to fully engage in the stage they are in. If we want to raise lifelong learners, we must allow them to learn at their own pace.

Three-year-olds should be learning how to be three—not spending their time preparing for school. Primary school students should be learning how to be in the school level they are in, not just preparing for the next year level. Year Six should be about being a Year Six student, not just training for high school.

Let’s focus on what children need to know now to help them continue growing, rather than always fixating on what they might need next year, in high school, or for the rest of their lives.

We are only each age once. Let’s allow children to enjoy each stage of their development, rather than rushing them through it.

Centres and educators should support children’s development, not create unnecessary anxiety in parents about school readiness. The early years should be about fostering a love of learning, curiosity, and essential life skills—not pressuring children to meet academic milestones before they are ready. Let’s allow children to grow and learn at their own pace, without the weight of unrealistic expectations.

What are your thoughts? Have you felt pressure around school readiness, or do you have experiences to share? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!

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